Ninjavitis

Ninjavitis, as currently defined by the urban dictionary:

1. An oral condition that causes ones breath to be so noxious that it can sneak up on unsuspecting people and be nearly fatal.

2. When the physical state of ones mouth is so repugnant that it looks like a skilled ninja has drop-kicked them squarely in the mouth.

1. I heard that John is in the hospital, cuz he went to kiss Sheila goodnight, and her ninjavitis made him go into shock.
2. god rest his soul, but ODB musta been in a fight with the RZA cause even his goldfronts had sum ninjavitis.

Personally, I think the definition should be expanded to include the very ninja-esque art of deception. For example, you see a seemingly healthy mouth, but as you go in for the kiss, BOOM, ninjavitis!

To demonstrate, this pirate mouth has been raped and pillaged by Aggregatibacter actinomycetemcomitans (that's one of the main gum-disease causing bacteria, for all you anti-dentites). It will obviously present with an odor capable of killing a small family of squirrels. If you ever snuggle up with a pirate, you deserve what you get:


Conversely, an attractive mouth, as can be found on actress Eva Mendes (recently voted best celebrity smile by the American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry), has the potential to deceive you in a halitosal sneak attack of epic proportions:


While the Dental Ninja has never been close enough to Eva Mendes to determine whether or not she has ninjavitis, other dentists have documented similar cases which were subsequently published in peer-reviewed, scientific journals such as this one: (click to enlarge)

(see evil-comic.com for more)

Be on the lookout for Ninjavitis, and if you happen see any more case studies of this deadly new epidemic please send them my way.

(Special thanks to DN reader Melissa Stewart, a hygiene student from Virginia, for the idea for this post!)