Kissing Catastrophe

Here's a great story to keep in mind while your cheeks are nice and rosy and you're getting comfy and cozy this holiday season!  Being a dental professional, it's no surprise that news items related to kissing show up on my radar from time to time.  A few years ago in Romania a couple was experimenting with a "special type of passionate kiss" and the woman accidentally swallowed her lover's dentures!  Also, every so often there will be a news story claiming how kissing is either good or bad for your teeth.  (Personally, I think your dental health shouldn't really be a deciding factor when deciding whether or not to kiss somebody).

However, this week's story takes the cake.  A 57 year old woman from Sheboygan (you love this story already, don't you?) had been behaving a little oddly lately, according to her 79 year old husband.  Apparently it went down like this:  Karen Lueders was sitting on the toilet when husband Willard walked in the bathroom.  Naturally, the husband leaned down for a kiss.  I mean really, she's on the toilet, who wouldn't be in the mood for a little romance, right? I know you want a little help picturing the situation, so, here's Karen:

 

So there they are, she on the potty, he standing near her, they begin their little kiss and things start heating up (of course, why wouldn't they?).  She gets a little frisky, when all of a sudden she decides to take the freaky to a whole new level and bites off his freaking tongue! 

The poor romantic fellow then found some gauze to stop the bleeding and called the police, who arrived to find Karen doing exactly what you would expect her to be doing in this situation - singing Christmas carols and blowing into a New Year's horn.  One of the officers (probably not a very romantic one) had no idea what was going on so he asked what sort of assistance was needed.  The result?  She blew the fancy horn in his ear and threw a coffee cup at the police.  

The result of this all is that Karen is currently charged with felony mayhem that has to do with intention to mutilate or disfigure.  At this point all we know about poor Willard's condition is that he was sent to the hospital with his severed tongue where doctors worked to reattach it. 

The full, sad, scary story can be found at the Sheboygan Press.