If I get Vampire Teeth, maybe then Edward will Notice me!

 We've been hearing over and over again how this is the worst recession since the 1930's - which very well may be true, but it doesn't really seem that bad when teenage girls are dropping $200 to get vampire teeth.

Here's the video from Houston's local Fox News:




In defense of the dentist, he isn't really doing anything different from other forms of "cosmetic" dentistry - he's just making her smile look worse, not better.  Than again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right?  And when the beholder is a desperate teenage girl who dreams about Edward all day, beauty ends up looking like vampire fangs.  In a way, this is nothing short of anti-cosmetic dentistry.  

(Personally, I would have tried to talk her into letting me make much larger fangs, but instead of bonding them I would have secured them with temporary cement - that way she could attach and remove them as she pleases - kind of like the plastic ones I would play with as a kid.  You know, back when it was socially acceptable to play make believe.)

Here's the full story from jsyk.com.

Tooth Loss, Cognitive Decline, and a Real-Life Example

Coincidentally, the following two stories made headlines in the same day:

First, researchers at Boston U's dental school have concluded a prospective study which showed that for each tooth lost, the ability to perform well on a cognitive test decreased 8-10%.  Scientists are hypothesizing that the decline could be related to the inflammation that accompanies tooth loss.  Other studies have shown elevated inflammation markers in people who have Alzheimer's disease. 

The study was published in the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society.  Story from physorg.com.

Need some proof?  Look no further than Highway 402 in Ontario, Canada; where a trucker was recently charged with careless driving for performing some good old fashioned do-it-yourself dentistry on the go.  (I guess this is actually a case of decreased cognitive ability during tooth loss, not after).  The plan was to tie one end of a string to the roof of the cab with the other end around his tooth and then to wait for "one good bump" to pull it out - which is exactly what happened.  The lone hiccup in his plan?  The fact that he was "traveling erratically" as reported by another driver.

Just in case you're wondering, dentistry on wheels looks something like this:



Rally Car Dentistry - Watch more Funny Videos

Full story from CBC news.

Apparently we need a few more truckstop dentists out there!  Seriously though people, driving under the influence of dentistry is a careless and selfish act that endangers everyone around you.  Just avoid the temptation altogether.  When you know you'll be driving, make sure you hire a designated dentist.  Or if you're going to be doing dentistry, find a designated driver.  Either way works.

Hamstring issues? Let's remove those teeth.

If you follow Australian Rugby, then you don't need me to tell you that Rod Davies plays for the Queensland Reds in the Super 14 competition.  Nope, I just mentioned that for the benefit of the rest of us who don't watch quite as much Australian Rugby.

Lately Davies has been having his on-field struggles with hamstring injuries.  One of the solutions being considered is having his wisdom teeth taken out.  What's that you say?  For his hamstring injuries?  That's right.  Now, before you dismiss the dentist as a quack (as I almost did when I saw the headline), bear in mind that there is some sound logic at work here.  The explanation is thus:  if an individual has persistent pain in the mouth, this can cause them to hold their head at an unnatural position in an attempt to alleviate some of the pain. This places unnecessary strain on the spine, which in turn can contribute to pain in other areas. 

A personal anecdote also supports this theory.  The first tooth I ever extracted in my school's dental clinic was a maxillary canine.  It took a few minutes, but when the tooth came out, the patient began moving his head around in circles.  His face lit up as he looked at me and told me he hadn't had full range of motion in his neck for the past year, but now everything was fine!  Even though I had no explanation, he was incredibly appreciative of what I had done for him.

Hopefully this doesn't become a trend, however.  I'd sure hate to see a teenager come in to have all their teeth taken out for athletic reasons.  Although I guess it would help them jump a little higher.


Full story from fox news.

Rocket Extraction

Kid Attaches Loose Tooth To Rocket - Watch more Funny Videos

Classic! I love when parents can help the kids get over the fear of losing teeth (and dentistry in general) by doing things like this. Who knows? Perhaps grown-ups who come in for extractions would elect for the super-awesome "Rocket Extraction". I know if I had to lose a tooth, launching it with a rocket might make me feel a little better.

Oh Hollywood

Dentists have always been unfairly represented in entertainment media. Admittedly, we're an easy target - many people fear the dentist, so audiences can appreciate when the local DDS isn't normal, whether he or she is simply a sadistic weirdo or someone who's OCD behavior has pushed them over the edge.



Continuing in this trend, albeit with a new twist, it was announced this week that Jennifer Aniston is going to star in an upcoming comic-murder-thriller entitled "Horrible Bosses". The twist? Her role is that of a dentist who suffers from the same addiction Tiger Woods has. Critics are calling this her raunchiest role yet. Sounds like a winner. Not really.

There is some hope on the horizon, however. Last week it was announced that Hollywood heartthrob Uncle Jesse (aka John Stamos) will be starring as a dentist in season two of Glee. John Stamos? As in, the handsome devil I practically see when I look in the mirror? That john Stamos? Sweet. Please Hollywood, let his character be a good dentist (or at least a normal one)! I'm a little skeptical because he's supposed to play the rival love interest of the main guy who teaches the kids how to sing and dance (I don't watch the show, but my wife does so I'm somewhat familiar with it). Since Uncle Jesse is going to be the "other guy" the producers may see fit to give him a quirk or two in order to keep us from rooting for him. Stay tuned!

Losing a real tooth in a fake fight? Priceless.

We all know that playing hockey can be hazardous to your teeth, but what about professional wrestling?

I'm not talking about mixed martial arts, I mean the performance wrestling. You know, fake? Pretend? Just don't tell this guy:




While you're thanking the performers "for all that you've done to your bodies", be sure to thank John Cena, who recently sacrificed one of his pearly whites in his bout vs. Batista. Cena tweeted that he spent 3 hours at the dentist the next day.

This of course begs the question, did Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson visit him that night?

Coke Machine Ninja Dress

This. Is. Awesome.

Suppose you're a nice young lady being chased through the streets of Japan by a would-be attacker. Since you regularly read The Dental Ninja you know that ninjas are awesome and that the best way to get out of this situation is by being a stealthy ninja - but how?

If you have the skirt from fashion designer Aya Tsukioka, you blend in as a Coca-Cola machine!

Can you spot the damsel in distress?


Viola! Her utility-belt-wearing, texting-while-running, would-be attacker is THWARTED!

Read all about the fancy ninja dress and see more cool pics at the Daily Mail.

Speaking of ninjas, it's not cool to dress up as one and slash a teenager's forehead open while claiming to "protect the woods" - unless of course there is more to the story and you truly are protecting some mystical treasure, in which case, my apologies. But otherwise, seriously not cool.